Dear Jejemonsters: NO.

e0wz p0whsz, mztah n p0whz u,,,?

While it looks like a bunch of letters that make no sense, believe it or not, this is actually a method of communication some people use. I don’t know who they’re communicating to, probably other lesser life forms. Okay that was mean, but whatever.

I HATE IT. I hate jejemons. I hate jejespeak. I hate jejetexting. I HATE IT.

How can a guy (or girl) cute and yet text so jejemon? How can they speak so intelligently and yet text like a jejemonster? The reality is, you could be the smartest person on earth but when you text jejemon, it is hard to take you seriously. Intellect does not carry well through jejespeak.

***

I have a theory on how this started. Text-shortcuts came about as a necessary way to squeeze as much as you can into the SMS 160-character format. The more your fit, the more bang you get for your P1. Fine. I understand and even practice basic shortcuts (you = u, okay = k, text = txt, etc) However it no longer makes sense when the “shortcuts” consume more characters than the real words themselves…

For example:

• “po” = poh, pow, phowz, pohwz, powzzz, pohwzz, powhsz

Also it makes no sense when you short-cut with the intent to conserve characters but instead do this…

For example:

• “musta” = muzta, mzta (why don’t you just type musta? or msta? you don’t conserve any characters. So why bother with the Z? it’s just wrong. )
• “anyway” = neiwayz, enwayz, neweiz (fyi, no such word as “anyways”)

Other jeje words I dislike

• e0whs/eow/elow/elowz = hello
• hayz/haiz/ayz/hai = I think this is “hay” as in “hay nako” though sometimes some people use it for “hi”
• ,,,, = I see these in text messages as replacements for …
• mum, mam = “ma’am”
• CR (car), MZDA (mazda), FRD (ford), shwrum (showroom)
• slip = sleep, opis = office, kaen = kain

I could go on for ages. It’s atrocious.

But I digress. Back to the jeje people who like to text me.. please make an effort to communicate properly. Now I’m not even just referring to the romantic texters. Even those that advertise stuff (vsit r shop hir 4 new tings!), sell items (c0nd0 unit @ d fort prselng), solicit help (phrm nmn p0wzh aq ng pera,,,)… LEARN TO SPELL. I will not entrust you with my time, lovelife or money if you communicate like a caveman.

The end.

PS. I hate you jejemons. = Bwset kyu mga j3j3m0nz! jejejeje